General discussions & events
Community page.
Owned and operated by nzpersonals
 
Chubby
Discussion - started by Grunter, posted on 12-Sep-19 3:27PM
Who out there has a lil extra padding and has trouble picking up anyone.
Ive always been a bit bigger and it really doesnt help, seems a sure way to the dreaded friend zone.
Anyone else have this problem?
Interested in how you overcome it.

Showing comments 54 through 103 out of 103 comments

PAGE 3: 1 2 3 
Log in to see more
Posted on 24-Sep-19 11:29PM
I get the feeling most women are simply tired of the same old shit with guys, doesn't matter if it's a hook up or something more but simply being honest is like walking on egg shells.

You're damned if you do and you're damned if you don't, any proposition of anything with women is offensive to them...heck just breathing air is offensive

I've never heard women being remotely flattered that I a guy wants to bang them, even if they secretly are flattered or excited about it.

Posted on 24-Sep-19 11:37PM
I find people that are ruthlessly honest quite pleasing to be around. I don't speak for all women, everyone's different.

You're welcome to try your best to offend me too.

Is it really difficult to imagine women like attention, feeling desired and thought of as attractive? I feel like you're having a joke aye
Posted on 24-Sep-19 11:46PM
I feel that some guys treat women as a separate species, instead of viewing them as individuals. And as such, some are appreciative of attention, like yourself, others not so much, and it is the job of the seeker to work out how to approach a particular person. One way isn't going to work on all women, after all!

Personally, I found it difficult to acknowledge that (straight) women really like men, instead of, as I foolishly used to think, that women simply put up with us. Once I realised that, it became much easier to think about what women want, rather than what I would be able to get them to accommodate.
Posted on 24-Sep-19 11:58PM
Well I'm not going to say 'I want to fuck you' to literally any woman out there, otherwise you play right into their hands as perverted.

And forget women at the work place, that's a straight up call to an hr meeting and disciplinary action from the boss.

Corporate nz like the rest of global corporate operations is a boys clubs with sexual harassments up the wazoo, so fuck that.

My Instagram feed is constantly updated with girls sexually provocative pics, usually their night clubbing escapades or some other sexy pics.

Being honest on ig dms doesn't appear to win any favours, girls just block you or remove you.

Tinder also has a sexy pic after sexy pic from girls profiles, but it's just bait for instant rejection, it a piss take and girls know it...they themselves have admitted as much, they are laughing at horny guys
Posted on 25-Sep-19 12:10AM
Like I said earlier, there's an ever changing world out there with more progression for fair treatment towards women...

Sex should be fun, but women are being positioned to be more empowered, otherwise if I force myself its rape
Posted on 25-Sep-19 12:44AM
I guess I didn't mean tinder, ig and whatever else being easy game. I mean going up to women and starting a conversation the old fashioned way. I'm also probably heavily influenced by my location and it's culture. Its no joke that there isn't a lot to do where I live except engage in substance abuse and sex.

All of that being said, if I was a guy I wouldn't chase women. Sounds like a lot of hassle for a spare hole. I'd be super duper gay.
Posted on 25-Sep-19 1:25AM
Well I wouldn't say it's difficult for conversation, it's more getting past that hurdle of initial hostility or prejudice.

I feel women scrutinise men like life depends on it, though somehow by him engaging in some flirtatious but cringeworthy gestures does she allow him any further.

Its bizarre, like being upfront gets your shutdown but doing something silly gets you access to that sweet vagina?
Posted on 25-Sep-19 1:31AM
This maybe a little off topic, but it seems alot of big business relies upon on sex. Be it big pharma with viagra, retail fashion selling with provocative clothing, cosmetic companies (that's a given), booze companies, night club owners, porn studios etc...way too many to mention really
Posted on 25-Sep-19 1:36AM
I feel like you make super specific references, like you've experienced them with women and now consider them gospel to how women react in those situations?

This flips right back to what I've said before, shoot your shot and move right along. Rejection is unavoidable. You could jump through every hoop for a woman and she could still turn you down for whatever asinine reason. But that's the game right? Win some and lose some, the key is to keep trying and I imagine it only gets easier and more successful with practice like most things.
Posted on 25-Sep-19 1:57AM
No definately not gospel, just predictable. Random hook ups are completely superficial and I get people want to fuck attractive people.

I guess it's more a have and have not scenario
Posted on 25-Sep-19 2:09AM
Except that everyone has different ideas of what attractive means to them, so everyone has an opportunity to be attractive to someone. Which is why I insist so much on never giving up.
Posted on 25-Sep-19 9:27PM
I guess so, I personally haven't given up on women but it is something that has passed me by...like it sort of skipped over me like the plot of the final destination franchise, but instead substitute death for sex or women.

I have self confidence up the wazoo, but rather I lost confidence in women. Not that women cant do something, more like they choose someone else over me. Its left me questioning if I something to offer (hook up, relationship etc) or not..
Comment #66 by GoingOnce in response to Hotbuns ( view post )
Posted on 25-Sep-19 9:49PM
Well, shit. I related to that real hard. Except maybe the self confidence bit hahaha
Comment #67 by Hotbuns in response to Hotbuns ( view post )
Posted on 25-Sep-19 9:58PM
*correction* It's left me questioning if I have something to offer (hook up, relationship etc) or not
Comment #68 by Hotbuns in response to GoingOnce ( view post )
Posted on 25-Sep-19 10:09PM
I wouldnt have survived this long if my self confidence was completely shot to hell...I have a huge ego too, but often keep it hidden from people so as not to draw too much attention to myself.
Posted on 25-Sep-19 10:40PM
This is making me question a lot of things I almost feel like it deserves it's own topic
Posted on 25-Sep-19 11:19PM
I feel I kinda hijacked this topic from the guy who originally put this topic up for discussion
Posted on 25-Sep-19 11:25PM
I mean I was just chiming in with the other members, but I relate to issue discussed.

Comment #72 by Oralguy6968 in response to Hotbuns ( view post )
Posted on 25-Sep-19 11:40PM
I lost count of the amount of times females have chosen a slim good looking guy over me both for relationships and just sex. In my belief most women will choose a guy that has good looks and nice body over guys like me that have always been bigger
Posted on 26-Sep-19 6:41AM
Yes, please start another topic. I'll follow it with interest. I might even contribute.
Comment #74 by RyanofOtaki in response to Hotbuns ( view post )
Posted on 26-Sep-19 10:25PM
To be honest, the OP only posted the once, so don't feel too bad. It's kinda evolved in to more of a general idea anyway so, whatever.
Posted on 26-Sep-19 10:36PM
Oh yes, I meant that the questions this thread has made me think of are better suited to a different thread.

I think it's all on topic here
Comment #76 by Hotbuns in response to Oralguy6968 ( view post )
Posted on 26-Sep-19 11:38PM
I cant definately relate to that, though my experience with that was more a snigerring laugh from people, more akin to negging. Negging is usually directed at women by men, but women are just as immature with unwarranted comments about someone's weight.

Eventually I lost a tonne of weight, but due to a back injury I'm not able to loose the 'botbelly' even though I lost between 25 & 29kgs over a period of eighteen months.

I still maintain a rigorous exercise regime in between my job, but it's getting harder and harder justifying the discipline if women either never know or can't appreciate the hard work I've put into my physical appearance.

I'm sure women feel more pressure to keep an unrealistic appearance than men, with a gym membership and constant work outs/regime.

Instagram isn't helping either, that's putting even more pressure on appearance than ever before...guys and girls, but girls more so



Comment #77 by Hotbuns in response to GoingOnce ( view post )
Posted on 26-Sep-19 11:53PM
I'd also add that I would have preferred hook ups over a relationship or relationships, not because I dont want to experience love and affection but rather to avoid heartbreak & being cheated on.

I said earlier that I had self confidence, but I dont have confidence in women to make the right call if it came to staying faithful to their partner. If you're not yet married, it's too easy to cheat and get away with it with an attitude like it's no biggie, but if you're married and cheating/having an affair it probably means more risk, it seems like the cheating spouse experiences more excitement by the knowledge they could be caught some day.
Comment #78 by Hotbuns in response to Hotbuns ( view post )
Posted on 26-Sep-19 11:58PM
But definately not saying men aren't opportunistic and wont use it to their advantage by cheating, I'm just saying women are just as susceptible to infidelity or are just as tempted to cheat as men are, perhaps women are better at hiding their intentions
Posted on 27-Sep-19 12:04AM
Sounds like you're letting fear dictate your life instead of just doing what you want. Fear of rejection mainly too. I think there's commonsense caution and taking it too far that you're ironically hurting yourself, thoughts?
Comment #80 by Oralguy6968 in response to Hotbuns ( view post )
Posted on 27-Sep-19 8:07AM
I have had multiple back injuries resulting in 3 surgeries which have left me unable to do bugger all. I found they only time females paid most attention to me was when I had lost alot of weight and was able to work full time earning big money.

I feel there is almost more pressure on males to have bodies like movie stars and porn stars plus have a cock like a porn star.

I've also found that alot of females won't touch a guy that's bi, I've also noticed that with all the traveling ive done that kiwi women are more judgemental about a males body than the women from the countries I've been to apart from Aussie
Comment #81 by Oralguy6968 in response to Hotbuns ( view post )
Posted on 27-Sep-19 8:13AM
I have had quite a few gfs and just about all of them have cheated on me. They are definitely better at hiding it than us males. With my last ex it took me awhile to find out that she had me plus 5 other guy's she was screwing. Why cheat when alot of people now are willing to do 3somes or even play alone knowing it's purely sex and nothing else
Posted on 27-Sep-19 11:38PM
People risk taking isnt something I've had much personal involvement with, but something like a really busy street I tend to circumvent the cross walk and risk walking around the cars instead and shave some time off waiting.

Though I feel its paradoxical, like you cant get anywhere with anything without experience, but you can only be better at something the more exposure and experience you have, that depends on others giving you a chance in the first place

Posted on 28-Sep-19 12:06AM
Well If I was wayy too confident about literally anything, I'd likely be a multimillionaire or even a billionaire.

But back to reality, fear of rejection is putting lightly. Life has not been as kind to me as I had hoped for, be it friends, financial security, life goals or accomplishments, career objectives etc.

Now that I'm aging in my early 30s, its put things into perspective of how little time is left to be prepared for anything.

Be it home ownership (definately not in nz, maybe home rental), a career of sorts, a loving relationship with someone etc.

It all plays into this notion that if you've got financial security, everything else ties into that. You could fuck as much girls as you like without worrying about your next meal, or how much you've got for disposable income and living income etc.

1

Posted on 28-Sep-19 5:12AM
I agree with you here
Posted on 28-Sep-19 1:22PM
Ask yourself, who likes getting rejected? Literally no one, rejection doesn't discriminate in what scenario, jilted lovers, a best friend can reject you, a family member can eject you, job applications are full of rejections, a loving relationship and yes marriage, rejection rears its ugly head in all of those things.
Posted on 28-Sep-19 1:32PM
Though in my case, it's the knowledge that women have never really understood anything about me, nor will they really understand anything about me, nor will they truly accept me and my flaws/limitations. That's maybe a cliche, but I feel its true and I feel women have preconceived notions that I usually dont fit into. Basically it's the path of least resistance, the easier it is for someone to place me into what they believe they already know about me, I would have a better chance.

But someone like me they can't easily place into these preconceptions, they aren't interested and move onto someone else.
Posted on 28-Sep-19 2:26PM
Forget fucking younger women in their 20s, looking good is one thing but tolerating all of their bullshit and indecisiveness is exhausting, but most if not all men want to fuck women in their 20s, it's arms race of who's got the best looks.

Women of my own age arent as bad, but they place preconceptions or are expecting alot, older women in their late s and early s expect men to have their shit organized and be financially and emotionally/mentally stable.
Posted on 28-Sep-19 4:54PM
I disagree about all men wanting younger females most men I know including myself have age limits personally no one below 38 for me
Posted on 28-Sep-19 5:00PM
Why 38?
Why 38 and not round up to forty?
What's the difference between thirty eight & thirty seven?
Posted on 28-Sep-19 5:07PM
I think he men?s within 10!years of his current age. Listed as 38 on his profile
Posted on 28-Sep-19 5:09PM
Damn I got that wrong listed as 48 hence within 10 years of his age. Apologies for a messy post above.
Posted on 28-Sep-19 6:12PM
im 48 so 38 is ten years younger
Posted on 28-Sep-19 6:45PM
Is there a significance to the age bracket for you personally, like attraction, maturity and/or experience?
Or is it because of an idea you heard and decided to go with it, because it seemed 'appropriate'?
Posted on 28-Sep-19 8:51PM
People like round numbers, I guess. I would assume it's purely arbitrary.

It's an odd thing, putting limits on age. It's not like someone ages a day and suddenly they're within your limits and can be seen as a possible mate!

Personally would find treating people as they come. One 30 year old might be as mature as a 40 year old, or as immature as a year old.
Comment #95 by Hotbuns in response to Hotbuns ( view post )
Posted on 28-Sep-19 10:17PM
**correction** Women of my own age arent as bad, but they place preconceptions or are expecting alot, older women in their late thirties and early forties expect men to have their shit organized and be financially and emotionally/mentally stable.
Comment #96 by Hotbuns in response to Mark708 ( view post )
Posted on 28-Sep-19 9:45PM
I'm early thirties, not giving my real age away online
Posted on 28-Sep-19 10:52PM
personal choice and I like a age I can relate too I have daughters in 20s so theres that too if you understand what I mean
Comment #98 by Playfulsub in response to the main topic
Posted on 29-Sep-19 3:18AM
Me I always have trouble picking up because of my xtra padding
Posted on 29-Sep-19 10:50AM
Jeeez wah wah wah
Posted on 29-Sep-19 10:54AM
don't be mean
Posted on 29-Sep-19 10:57PM
Completely unwarranted really, you're 46? I would expect someone of your age with an intellectual or thought provoking response...but I guess not.
Comment #102 by Playfulsub in response to the main topic
Posted on 9-Oct-19 1:53AM
I've always had problem in this department always getting turned down coase of xtra padding
Comment #103 by Ganman19 in response to the main topic
Posted on 18-Oct-19 9:44PM
I used to have same problem when I was younger shy self-conscious I just decided that you can't change who you are but you can change how people see you I just started being myself engaged in conversation and had fun if you can make the people around you enjoy themselves have fun and laugh with no shame it really goes a long way U will find what works for you bye being yourself your shameless self

Community Managers (5)

Group owner
Group manager
Group manager
Group manager
Group manager

New Zealand Personals - Now in its 25th year, and still going strong
About NZPersonals  *  Contact NZPersonals  *  Help

Copyright (C) 2000-2024, NZPersonals.com Ltd

 

 

×