Showing comments 1 through 46 out of 46 comments

It seems a simple ‘No thanks’ is to much for most.
Rather be told no than be left hanging and wondering.

Exactly right. Cheers

Exactly... manners go a long way, but they are far and few that know what these are

You would think eh

Certainly agree. By the way we use to chat and then I left site for a little while. Now I can no longer contact as restrictions are in place. Would love to catch up when you can.

Im not glad to see more interested , that others have noticed the same kind of ghosting.
This groupe is name and shame, do we list the rude members?
For me im not into tit for tat, i was just in the mood to comment the other night.
J

I was not grumbling I was trying to have a chat again, would like to give an update.

All good you have to message me first nzp rules

But apparently your settings do not allow me to. I will try again but maybe friend me then we can chat?

So right kiwirogue. Why can't people just say, "sorry, not interested", or "yeah i just came in my hand and I don't like you anymore", or just "fuck off"...Human nature to want to avoid conflict I guess.

Unfortunately the rise of social media means that people can hide behind a keyboard and be arseholes, without the risk of being punched in the throat.

Try being a mature woman on this site. I have given up waiting for people to respond.

I love that 👍

I hear you, keep trying and keep smiling. If im up your way id love a coffee.

I'll name and shame myself....I'll happily admit I'm one of these "ghosters" personally I don't think that messages like dtf? Or sup? Warrant a reply. And I've been on and off these sites for a few years now and I have found that more often than not, even if a guy has put more thought into a message and you reply with a "thanks but no thanks" they often want reasons why or try continue the conversation in some other form, even after you politely decline, and then become extremely pushy about it...so for those reasons I'm one of those ghosters you speak of.

Aww thank you 😊

Yes as a mature female most have the attitude that I am desperate 🤣

Simply not answering a "dtf" message is not considered ghosting in my opinion. Ghosting would be specifically cutting off contact on an already established conversation for no apparent reason. I have plenty of "keen" type one-word messages that I simply ignore as well as I find they are rude and absolutely not worth a response. All just my opinion though.

I don't understand when guys chat for ages ask for pics. I only drip feed 4 pics. Then say going to come, give a time and then don't show don't even give excuses. I don't get angry or upset. I just think how sad that there are people out there going through there life with no manners scruples or common sense. I wonder about the senior one that do it and wonder how did they manage to make it through to the age they are . Oh well had 2 do it last night. Is it that bad with them in just Auckland or is it nation wide. I seem to get 3 aweek

I agree with the dwf and sup, thats not a message us it.
For the ones that want a reason or pushy after a polite decline just block. You did the nice thing by repling.

Yep i agree,

Well said

Well said. We will also add the multiple same worded message from the same guy. Called the shotgun method

I agree is-this-where-i-sign-up. The appalling initial first messages that Ive received do not deserve a reply. For example: "Ive got pics, want to swap?". Arrhhh and that was his very first message. I wont tell you the reply he got ;)

If men want a decent reply, THEN BE decent

No reply IS a reply. Nobody owes anybody a reply.

I disagree not getting a response isn't ghosting!

I sometimes ghost after I've given fair warning that I'm not interested or no longer want to continue chatting and men just don't seem to get a clue 🤷🏾‍♀️

This.

Ghosting is when you been chatting or dealing with in realise, for a while, where there has been some investment, sharing of your life, etc, and then they disappear, change mobile numbers, deleted there profile, even move house.....without a single word said to you, and you never hear from them again, they disappear, and youre left a little bit hurt

That is ghosting

If a woman, or man, doesnt reply to your message, that ISNT ghosting. Theres been no rapport, emotional connection made, no investment, etc, its just they dont want to reply, and they dont have to

No reply IS a reply. The reply inferred is "I dont want to reply to your message"

Nobody owes anybody a reply.

I'm not replying to that

Can relate to your first paragraph indeed. Happens quite often.

I established a friendship with another woman, we chatted for 4 months, got on very well, having a real good time then out of no where I got ghosted. She just cut off contact for no reason..Haven't heard from her for a month....such a bummer!!! I would of appreciated a no thanks or something but hey you live & learn

Yes it does hurt, especially when you seem to have gotten close. This just happened to me about a week ago. He even told me what he job was and where he worked and we were going to meet for coffee just this past weekend, then he deleted his account.

Thats typical married man behaviour

yup that is what I have worked out ....

Yip and its sick stuff

Thank god someone has come out and said this. Over the years I have sent so many messages with absolutely no response.
Happy to move on if I get a no thanks but nothing is rude and people wouldn`t do that in person
Well said and good luck to you all

Although whilst I am polite and respectful in my messages I do understand there are total idiots out there that make it tougher for all concerned.
Take care sexy people

And I will add that I have been the recipient of many unpleasant messages from guys who are absolutely disgusting and degrading of women. Thank god for the block button

I find that disturbing and wonder what they are thinking? Does that approach ever work. I couldn't do it in person so wouldn't attempt it here.
Use the block button as and when required.

That approach doesn't do it for me. One guy who I met and then he ditched me approached me again with a different username but using 123 at the end again, same age and same first name. So I went back to him and said that he had already been in contact with me. His reply: "Oh yeah the horny chick with the big tits". To which I replied "was that really necessary" and blocked him

Same with us. Also, often we don't pop in here for a while and a whole bunch of messages have built up. Frankly, the messages from people who did not read the profile don't deserve to be answered. People think it is like texting when you send a message and usually get instant reply. It is a website. Doesn't work that way.

Agree, it is a website and like myself often do not reply if I don't have time. It's like that with WhatsApp too, people expect an instant reply.

Not answering a message on here is like looking at your phone and seeing some strange or anonymous number and saying "I am not answering this call". It is not ghosting. Is it rude - maybe. But almost 90% of the time the message is from someone who has obviously not read one's profile and requirements.

True. I look at profiles of those that contact me and I wonder why they send me a friend request. I do acknowledge them with a sorry but no thanks but some still come back and ask but why