Here is a tell all about how and why many messages posted in public discussions get a clobbering. The following set of rules set the clobbers in place:

Not Keeping it friendly!

Bitching or arguing.

Advertising, soliciting or promoting services,

Booty-call posts - hooking up posts in public (this is very common in public discussions - many treat their public posts like an airport departure and arrival terminal) you know the kind where your posts are about how you can't wait to get xy and z, or how you need and want...desperately seeking and needing. Those get clobbered for sure.

Trolling, antagonising, or winding up other members.

Posting phone numbers or any other external contact details!

However private groups are governed by the people who set them up.

I do hope it clears up any confusion. If you experience any abuse from others, then please contact the group managers or report a complaint to admin.